Monday, September 17, 2007

What is this ugly little meme?

Found this over at Sheila's and it pissed me off (it, not you, Sheila):

1. Is your second toe longer than your first?

No, it's about equal.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
A purple Papermate felt tip, hands down.

3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?
My planner ends in December. Puhlease, let me get through the week!

4. What color are your toenails usually?
I go au naturel.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
Probably the last thing I acted in - an adaptation of Winesburg Ohio. I don't highlight my school books, I have this silly little prioritizing system involving one, two or three lines next to any paragraph of interest.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
I have blinds, not curtains.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
I don't own a car.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
I'm allergic to cats, that would be - no.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
The maintenance bill for my apartment.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No, I know someone whose mom grew up there.

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
To buy produce.

12. Whose is the last baby that you held?
The Ragzzo's brother's.

13. Unlucky #?
Don't have one.

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
I don't own a car, I borrow my mom's occasionally and it's a Taurus.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
Never, only been to Disneyland and that was back in 1985.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
Under the paint on my bathroom walls, but it's coming off if we can ever figure out what color we're doing the bathroom - we're thinking midnight blue dyed limestone plaster. The tiles are 1939 deco pink -any thoughts?

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
The tea towel hanging by the kitchen sink.

20. Last person to give you a business card?
The deco antique shop in Beacon we visited last Friday.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
My Ragazzo.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
A crazy blue photo taken by my friend Tony, a photographer, of the pigeons in Trafalgar Square.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Do restaurants count? If so, that would have been Friday at a BBQ place in Beacon, otherwise The Ragzzo made veal tacos a couple of weeks ago, usually I cook.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?

25. How many emails do you have?
Accounts or actual pieces of mail? If accounts, could be 3, could be 5, could be none of your business.

26. Last time you received flowers?
I have no idea.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?
What are you - nuts? The SANCTITY of marriage? WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS THING? Sanctity is not a word that has a place in our law. If marriage is to be respected as a legal institution, it's because the two people who signed the contract keep the contract. I hope it's out of love just because that's a nice fairy tale, but that would be their business and I certainly don't care what sex they are. Seeing that most marriages do not stay together I would ask - WHAT SANCTITY? And if the government is giving out 150 benefits to men and women who make that contract they damn well better treat couples of the same sex - LIKE MINE IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING - equally. But they don't and that is insulting and demeaning. Our constitution (Happy Birthday constitution) guarantees us equal protection and we're not getting it. As a religious rite, I don't really care what marriage does - that's the business of whatever sect is marrying the people who wish to have a religious ceremony. But I am continually surprised that religious people, including those whose faith teaches that god is love, would ally themselves with so unloving a position, would wish to have fewer symbols of love and commitment in the world, and would set themselves up as some sort of police force - determining whose love is acceptable to it and whose is not. How dare every one of you.

28. Do you play air guitar?
No, knee piano.

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you?
See # 27, if they did it wouldn't matter, I couldn't marry them. The law of this country seems to be written by people who are so insecure in their personal religious beliefs that they believe those feelings should dictate our laws. It's a shame people who claim to live in a country governed by laws and not men (and women) should so pervert that intention that they must govern us by their personal religious beliefs instead.

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
No, although your questions make me so angry, I could use a shot of whiskey in my tea.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
What the hell is that? If it's anything like a Hummel - that would be NO.

32. What is/was your high school's rival mascot?
My high school's rival was Stuyvesant, but that was over the Westinghouse science research awards, not football. If either of us had a mascot, it was probably a laboratory rat.

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
Amy, she lives in my neighborhood.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
At the lab on Saturday, before running a subject in our study.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
I did, and played percussion in my high school orchestra for two years.

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
Wood, I believe the finish might be called Cherry, you know how good we are at interior decorating, which must be the reason we can't get married.

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
I read the Arts Section in the Sunday New York Times, but none of it stuck.

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
Are you kidding? Pageant?

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
The local joint, I know their number but not their name. I won't do name brand pizza.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
I was a king in a play at camp when I was about five, tin foil and cardboard, made by Mom.

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
The recording form for my experiment.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?

I don't drink soda.

44. Are you ticklish?

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
The year before last at Thunder Over Louisville for the opening of the Derby.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
I tried one when they first came to New York - they do nothing for me.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned it?
The census bureau.

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
In Santa Fe in 1999 in the house they gave me when I was working there. It had a carport.

49. Do you have a black dog?

50 . Have you had your mid life crisis yet?
I'm pretty sure I did. At least, I sure hope so because if that wasn't it, it won't be pretty when it comes.

51. Are you an aunt or uncle?
Yup, four times over, five if they'd d fucking let me get married. But they would rather children had less structure and security and were surrounded by less love if they determine that love to be the wrong kind.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
The Ragzzo, of course.

53. What kind of soap or body wash do you use?
Dove, no scent - I have very sensitive skin - you know how sensitive we are.

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?

55. Do you have a little black dress?
No - even though I'm gay. Can I get married now?


Anonymous said...

Well, good Lord, I'm glad you're not pissed at ME - I didn't write the stupid thing! I was more annoyed that they kept assuming we all lived in houses and had cars (obviousy written by a suburbanite) - but that, obviously is my bias.

Ugly meme, ugly meme!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks to the meme...for all this time I assumed that you were a Ragazza!

Ted said...

Sheila - Yes it was full of assumptions the most heinous being, in my opionion, that that we know what a damn willowtree whatsit is and can afford to buy one (since we're on welfare).

Ted said...

May - not last time I looked (ha ha).

Anonymous said...

I was thinking more about this, Ted, ever since I read your enraged answers - and a conversation you and I had a bazillion years ago came to my mind. We were talking about Born on the Fourth of July - which I liked - but it went up your ASS, as I recall - and you explained to me that you felt that the prologue - of life before he went to Vietnam - was filmed in this golden glowy mist of nostalgia that assumed we all would nod, and go, "Yes. Yes. Life was like that once." When, in actuality, life is like that for a tiny smidgeon of the population - and it is very dangerous, in a society as huge as ours - to assume that we all have a shared past. We don't! We are NOT a homogenous country and we never have been.

I don't know - it just came to mind as I was thinking about what annoyed me about the meme. Do you remember that conversation we had?

It's fun to get mad at memes.

I hate the word "meme" anyway, so I start OFF irritated!!

Ted said...

I do remember that moving getting up my ass and our conversation - yes. Though I had forgotten it until you reminded me. The assumption that others think just like you (me) - false consensus bias - is a much studied phenomenon in social psychology. It is one of the most commonly made mistakes (by all of us). Research psychologists need to guard against it if they are to fairly form hypotheses and make inferences based on research about how most people think and behave. Clinicians do well to guard against it too - as someone else's depression or divorce or whatever may be nothing like their own, even if they have a hard time imagining that. In fact, in respect of others, we really all would do well to remember it - so thanks for reminding me. I guess that's why I always read meme and think "me! me!" Cause ain't that what it's all about?

And yes, it is fun to get mad at memes. I'm serious about my rant but hope I smiled through my pain (ha-ha-ha).

Anonymous said...

Christopher Hitchens, a writer I love dearly - whether or not I agree with every one of his opinions is irrelevant - I LOVE that man's writing!! - but anyway, he, writes often in warning contemptuous tones about any writer who confidently uses the word "we". "Be very very suspicious of anyone who uses the word 'we' a lot. They are charlatans and dictators in training."

He articulated for me, perfectly, the problem I have (to use a trivial example) with most writing for women's magazines.

"We women often feel that ..."

"We want to have it all ..."

"We wish our men would be more like cuddly teddy bears ..."

And I NEVER fit the criteria. I NEVER fit into that "we". Although last time I checked, I do have a female hoo-hah and I resent having this "we" out there that I either have to fight against or protest or slink away, like back in high school, thinking, "Okay, then, I don't fit into THAT group."

Ever since I read Hitchens' diatribe about 'we" I notice it everywhere.

It sets up a consensus - and if you agree with it, yay for you, you're golden ... but if not?

That "we" is meant to exclude.

Ted said...

"Charlatans and dictators in training" - I like that. So true, I'm probably guilty of that from time to time - I ought to watch it. I have read very little by Hitchens, I guess I'll add him to the list.

Anonymous said...

His book of essays Love, Poverty & War is great. All his book reviews for The Atlantic are in there - and it's because of him that I picked up Evelyn Waugh and I am so glad I did!!

It's also been SO FUN watching him duke it out with Al Sharpton on various talk shows.

He certainly doesn't lack in controversy - but I love his fearlessness, and also his breadth.

Anonymous said...

He's also the kind of guy who writes a regular column for both Vanity Fair and The Weekly Standard. Like: what? Not too many writers could bridge that ideological gap but he does.

He's an iconoclast ... and refuses to line up with parties or fanatics - much to the chagrin and RAGE of party-line people. He's a forceful enemy ... watching him fight his position is unbelievable ... You had BEST get your act together before going into the ring with him.

But also: his book reviews are wonderful, and his essay on Route 66 in Vanity Fair a couple of years ago is one of my favorite essays ever written.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Usually meme silliness can be forgiven seeing as they're for fun, but I absolutely loathe so many of the assumptions in here---most of which boil down to "everyone else lives/thinks like I do." *shudder*